It was a toss-up between writing about the next birthday party or doing an update piece on our training and armouring progress. But then Josh and I had our anniversary yesterday (two years married), and it occurred to me (during our training session, which was not cancelled) that I am a very lucky girl in armour. So I thought I'd write about that, as well.
You see, in our sport, those people who manage to find another fighter for a mate are incredibly fortunate. Some might say it's "a match made in Heaven", which I think is a bit morbid, since there are only dead people there. And angels, which are supposedly sexless, so what would they really know about hooking two people up.
I prefer to think of it as perfect symmetry, orchestrated by the natural order of things. But whatever. I'm a bit of a romantic that way.
The thing is, there are actually a number of reasons why Josh and I have an amazing partnership, and why we make an excellent team. Here they are:
1. We spend our time together doing things we enjoy together, like training, armouring, planning events and chatting about ways to improve our training and armour and events.
2. Fighting comes first for both of us (after the small Beastie, that is), and so we don't find any excuse to cancel or put off our training (like birthdays or anniversaries, which was what got me thinking). Instead, we make it part of what we are doing. Like last night, we had training and then Bronwen joined us for a small celebration with awesome pies and dessert and bubbly. Por que no los dos?
3. I don't have to justify spending R2000 on steel for new armour because Josh understands how it is.
4. Also, he helps to make it for me.
5. We have something to work towards as a couple, and so our priorities (and thus resources) aren't split.
6. Swordfighting is something we can do as a family. Tala often joins us when we train with the boffer weapons. She also has her own little sword for test cutting, although she prefers the sharp longsword, which is just adorable to watch.
7. I'm never short a sparring partner.
8. I always get awesome birthday and Litha gifts. Josh understands that I don't do jewellery, makeup or fashion. He has made me a spear, a mace, a beautiful single-handed sword (my last birthday), a polearm, and several bits of armour and garb (which is important).
9. We can joke about how Josh only beats me when we're in the lists. That's because we don't fight or argue. People like to make jokes about how we can take out our frustrations on each other with swords, but it really isn't like that. I respect him as a fighter, and he respects me as a fighter. There's no domestics happening when we fight against each other in the lists; just sports.
10. When someone in our circle of friends says, "nice legs" Josh doesn't get uptight because he knows they are referring to my armour.
11. I must be one of the very few women in the world whose husband can say "period" with a straight face. The other few also have husbands who fight.
12. When we watch movies with fighting, if I think it's really bad, I don't have to convince Josh to turn it off because he most likely feels the same way. We agree on just about everything because we see the world from the same perspective: that of a fighter.
13. Training. It should go without saying, but since this is lucky point number thirteen, I'll say it. Training = fitness = great sex.
Mostly, though, Josh just gets me. And for that, I am grateful. I don't think it's entirely because of swordfighting, but I do think that both of us being fighters makes it so much better.
Having come to the sport as an individual and then meeting Josh also plays a part, I think. So often, a girl will take up a hobby or a sport because her boyfriend does it and she wants to be with him and be part of his life. But she never asks herself what he's taken up that is part of her life. There is often no reciprocation, and the relationship ends up being unbalanced. I came to roleplaying, MTG, Warhammer and computer games that way; doing it because my boyfriend at the time did it. Not that I didn't enjoy it, but I think I always saw myself as a hanger-on, and so other people saw me in the same light. So fifteen, twenty years down the line, I still feel like a noob Diablo II player, but after fighting for nearly six years, I feel comfortable being a part of the scene.
I came to swordfighting not because I wanted to be with Josh. That came later. It was because I wanted to fight. And I learned not as a girlfriend, but as a new recruit, a squire, the girl in armour. So now, in our relationship, I'm not about to give up fighting because I've got the guy and now we're married and I see him every day and every night (which is always a new miracle for me anyway). And Josh also doesn't feel like he has this hanger-on who is only there under duress. We are individuals together, fighters who walk the same path. We understand each other, where we want to be, and how we're going to get there. That makes me, I think, the most fortunate girl in armour.
You see, in our sport, those people who manage to find another fighter for a mate are incredibly fortunate. Some might say it's "a match made in Heaven", which I think is a bit morbid, since there are only dead people there. And angels, which are supposedly sexless, so what would they really know about hooking two people up.
I prefer to think of it as perfect symmetry, orchestrated by the natural order of things. But whatever. I'm a bit of a romantic that way.
The thing is, there are actually a number of reasons why Josh and I have an amazing partnership, and why we make an excellent team. Here they are:
1. We spend our time together doing things we enjoy together, like training, armouring, planning events and chatting about ways to improve our training and armour and events.
2. Fighting comes first for both of us (after the small Beastie, that is), and so we don't find any excuse to cancel or put off our training (like birthdays or anniversaries, which was what got me thinking). Instead, we make it part of what we are doing. Like last night, we had training and then Bronwen joined us for a small celebration with awesome pies and dessert and bubbly. Por que no los dos?
3. I don't have to justify spending R2000 on steel for new armour because Josh understands how it is.
4. Also, he helps to make it for me.
5. We have something to work towards as a couple, and so our priorities (and thus resources) aren't split.
6. Swordfighting is something we can do as a family. Tala often joins us when we train with the boffer weapons. She also has her own little sword for test cutting, although she prefers the sharp longsword, which is just adorable to watch.
7. I'm never short a sparring partner.
8. I always get awesome birthday and Litha gifts. Josh understands that I don't do jewellery, makeup or fashion. He has made me a spear, a mace, a beautiful single-handed sword (my last birthday), a polearm, and several bits of armour and garb (which is important).
9. We can joke about how Josh only beats me when we're in the lists. That's because we don't fight or argue. People like to make jokes about how we can take out our frustrations on each other with swords, but it really isn't like that. I respect him as a fighter, and he respects me as a fighter. There's no domestics happening when we fight against each other in the lists; just sports.
10. When someone in our circle of friends says, "nice legs" Josh doesn't get uptight because he knows they are referring to my armour.
11. I must be one of the very few women in the world whose husband can say "period" with a straight face. The other few also have husbands who fight.
12. When we watch movies with fighting, if I think it's really bad, I don't have to convince Josh to turn it off because he most likely feels the same way. We agree on just about everything because we see the world from the same perspective: that of a fighter.
13. Training. It should go without saying, but since this is lucky point number thirteen, I'll say it. Training = fitness = great sex.
Mostly, though, Josh just gets me. And for that, I am grateful. I don't think it's entirely because of swordfighting, but I do think that both of us being fighters makes it so much better.
Having come to the sport as an individual and then meeting Josh also plays a part, I think. So often, a girl will take up a hobby or a sport because her boyfriend does it and she wants to be with him and be part of his life. But she never asks herself what he's taken up that is part of her life. There is often no reciprocation, and the relationship ends up being unbalanced. I came to roleplaying, MTG, Warhammer and computer games that way; doing it because my boyfriend at the time did it. Not that I didn't enjoy it, but I think I always saw myself as a hanger-on, and so other people saw me in the same light. So fifteen, twenty years down the line, I still feel like a noob Diablo II player, but after fighting for nearly six years, I feel comfortable being a part of the scene.
I came to swordfighting not because I wanted to be with Josh. That came later. It was because I wanted to fight. And I learned not as a girlfriend, but as a new recruit, a squire, the girl in armour. So now, in our relationship, I'm not about to give up fighting because I've got the guy and now we're married and I see him every day and every night (which is always a new miracle for me anyway). And Josh also doesn't feel like he has this hanger-on who is only there under duress. We are individuals together, fighters who walk the same path. We understand each other, where we want to be, and how we're going to get there. That makes me, I think, the most fortunate girl in armour.
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| Josh and I at last year's BHSA Heritage Day tournament in Durban. Please excuse the crappy photo edits. The photo came from my Mom, but I did the editing. |
